Abortion Round 2

My post yesterday was long but I still don't feel like I have adequately covered the subject so here we go again. While yesterday I wrote a lot about reasons leading up to the choice of having an abortion I haven't treated the subject of what happens, or may happen, after the choice is made about how to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. There are really 3 choices on how to deal with any pregnancy and those are abortion, adoption, and parenthood. I will deal with each of these separately below starting from when the decision is made to pursue a certain route.

Abortion
Once the decision is made the first thing to do is find out where to go for the procedure and what limitations/requirements might be needed in your state. In the best case you can make an appointment at a local clinic/hospital and have the procedure taken care of in a timely manner. In the worst case you may have to travel hours away or even cross state lines to reach the nearest site that provides abortions. You may also need to make this trip more than once if the state requires counseling 24 hours in advance. In either scenario this will most likely require some loss of work and other inconveniences to your daily life.

When you arrive at the clinic the best case will see you walking in unmolested and being cared for by a supportive staff from start to finish. In the worst case you will have to fight your way through protesters and/or be scorned and poorly treated by staff for the decision you have made.

Once the procedure is complete and you return home you may have physical discomfort for a few days to weeks. You may also experience fluctuations in mood as your hormones return to their normal levels. In some case, depending on what prompted your decision to abort, you may feel extended anxiety or grief over the situation. Some individuals may even require counseling to help them cope with the experience and regrets that arise after the fact. Fortunately, in most cases, the only people you will have to deal with asking questions about your experience are those you choose to tell about the experience in the first place. This at least gives you some control over who knows and how often you need to be reminded of the event.

Carrying the pregnancy to term

I'm going to start by covering the general toll of carrying a pregnancy to term before I get into the specific subcategories of adoption vs. parenthood.

Once this route has been decided on prenatal care should be sought but for many women the prenatal regimen can be difficult. In the modern world there are monthly exam visits that need to be scheduled, tests that are both required and those that are optional, vitamin regimens, and a long list of dietary dos and don'ts. This entire process can be expensive, especially for those with no or inadequate insurance.

Next there are physical and lifestyle changes to consider. In addition to the commonly known restrictions on smoking and drinking there are environmental factors to consider. For women who work in certain manufacturing and industrial fields a pregnancy could leave them unable to complete their job duties. As a pregnancy progresses even normal day to day tasks can become difficult. Things like weak hand strength, an inability to stand for long periods of time, or needing frequent trips to the bathroom are only a partial list. Getting the proper amount of sleep will become more and more difficult as the pregnancy progresses while early in pregnancy morning sickness can cause almost constant nausea. All of the above is taking into consideration that both you and the child are completely healthy. There are many complications, particularly as the due date approaches, that can require bed rest or an inability to work altogether. Since we don't live in a country that guarantees paid sick leave or maternity leave any time missed from work is likely to go unpaid which can put you in significant financial hardship.

Then comes the birth. Ominous words like contractions, epidural, c-section, inducement, etc. Whether you experience some or all of these items the birth process is messy, painful, and physically as well as emotionally draining. This is a major medical event and should be equated to major surgery including the recovery time for such which lasts for weeks, not days. This recovery is both physical and emotional as hormone levels continue to fluctuate in coming weeks. In some cases a woman's body will be significantly and permanently different after this experience. Postpartum depression is also a very real issue which may be exacerbated by any preexisting mental illness.

Adoption
"Have you considered adoption?" Proponents of this avenue might want to more closely consider what they are recommending.

In addition to the full pregnancy, birth, and recovery scenario above you must jump through additional hoops to complete the adoption process. When the decision is made to pursue adoption this opens up a whole list of additional options to consider. Do you want an open or closed adoption? Do you want to try to find a family or leave the choosing in the hands of others? What organizations/agencies are available to assist in the process and which will you choose for your journey?

In some cases there is support, both financial and otherwise, available to pregnant women looking to give up their child but this is not always the case. This may be a very lonely journey for some and, as most pregnancies will become very apparent at some point, you will need to find a way to cope with people asking questions about a child that you do not intend to keep. You will also need to be prepared to deal with people judging, asking questions, or being critical or your adoption choice if you choose to reveal that fact.

Finally the day comes for delivery. After months of carrying this child inside you, feeling them move and grow, you see their face for the first time. For some this will change everything and adoption is no longer an option but you are faced with the reality of taking home a child for whom you have not prepared for. You have no clothes, no car seat, no bed, no plans for juggling work, etc. For others they will feel the surge of maternal power enhanced by the flood of hormones coursing through their veins and will be absolutely heartbroken when that child is handed over and whisked away. Still others will see this as a moment of relief, when at last their long journey has come to an end (well, except for all that recovery time and the possible side effects of pregnancy).

If the adoption is followed through you will then be faced with "where's the baby" questions from anyone who didn't previously know that you were adopting. This can go on for an extended time as word spreads about the adoption. Then there's always the possibility of regretting your decision after the fact but, except in rare instances, all adoptions are final and once complete there is no turning back time.

But what about the child? This new little life with so much potential has been set loose in a very big world. If a family adopts the child immediately there is a good chance of them living a full and healthy life. There is a chance that they could have issues stemming from knowledge of their adoption, but that is on a strictly case by case basis. On the other hand, if they are not immediately adopted they will wind up in the hands of Child Protective Services (a.k.a. foster care). Statistics for kids in foster care are grim, and the longer a child remains in the system the less likely they are to be adopted and the worse their chances become of having a happy and successful life.

Parenthood

In this last segment I will be looking at those cases where having a child wouldn't just be an inconvenience to be overcome with some lifestyle modification but where having a child would cause significant, and in some cases dire, consequences to a woman's life or that of a child. To do so I will examine a few subcategories:

Teen pregnancy
Statistics show that teen mothers are significantly less likely to graduate high school, much less earn a college degree. They are at a much higher risk of living in poverty and on public assistance. For children of teen parents the future is tough. Children of teen moms are less likely to graduate high school, boys are more likely to wind up in jail and girls are more likely to repeat the cycle of becoming teen moms themselves.

Abusive relationships
While in some cases the addition of a child is enough for someone to leave an abusive relationship this is not the most likely outcome. The first challenge for children born into this situation is the actual act of being born without injury. From there choosing to raise a child while in an abusive relationship not only opens the child up to being abused but also increases the likelihood of that child growing up to be abused or the abuser in their own relationships. Should the child wind up in foster care the statistics are still not great and they will still have to deal with the memories of past abuse.

Drug/Alcohol abuse
Mothers who abuse drugs and alcohol have a significant risk of having children with physical and mental disabilities due to their addiction. Should their child be born healthy if such a parent fails to get and stay clean and sober their child is then at risk for a lifetime of neglect, abuse, and maltreatment. These can then turn into behavioral and emotional problems in the child that may affect them for the rest of their life. Children raised in such an environment are also at an increased risk for becoming addicts or winding up in jail. The child has a high probability of winding up in foster care which, as previously mentioned, is not a great deal better.

Homelessness/severe financial hardship
Most people would probably say that they don't have as much flexibility in their budget as they would like, but with sacrifice and the help of either the government or family and friends some can make the unexpected addition of a child work. However, there is only so much sacrifice a person can make before their whole financial situation comes undone. For those who are homeless or nearly so the addition of a child would only serve to put them further from financial security. The loss of even a few days at work can sometimes lead to eviction and with a child there is always days where work will need to be missed to care for their needs unless a person has an extensive support network. It would be nearly impossible for such a person to keep up with proper prenatal care let alone provide a child with even the basic necessities of life. Childhood hunger is already a very real problem in this country but it is only one of many hardships that are faced by children born into severe economic hardship.

Chronic illness (physical or mental)
Just because someone is chronically ill does not mean that they are incapable of conceiving and carrying a child to term. There are also plenty of cases where chronically ill is not terminally ill and therefore would not qualify as a medical exception to abortion. For those dealing with MS, lupus, schizophrenia, and a host of other diseases pregnancy would be difficult in itself but successfully raising a child would be even more so without significant help which is not available to all people.

In all of these scenarios there may be good outcomes just as there may be bad outcomes. Children born to difficult beginnings may go on to do great things just as children who are given the best start in life may wind up wasting all the careful attentions of their parents. The mettle of each person to deal with the obstacles put in their path are not for society to judge. The things that seem insurmountable to some are a mere hiccup to others. At the end of the day it comes down to the individual choices we make. If having an abortion keeps a woman safe from a lifetime of hardship then I say let her have her choice.